Art Happenings The Past 2 Weeks

I started a workshop called The Art of Wild Abandonment last week.  I took a break from the projects in the workshop because I wanted to create a journal page of a girl with her heart on her sleeve.  I've had the words "living out loud" running through my mind.  Life is about living out loud.  When I think about living out loud, I don't mean become a loud person.  To me living out loud means sharing my life, sharing the things I'm going through or I've gone through, live authentically, and not hide who I really am.  Everyone has struggles.  If we share our struggles and be real about what is really going on in our lives, we can help each other through...we can encourage each other.  God didn't want us to go through our struggles on our own...that's why He puts people in our lives.  I think sometimes we worry about being judged by others and so we put on a mask.  There is a Scripture I'm trying to find...it's about going through things and helping others through their struggles.  I found it!  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says:  "God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.  When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us."

The journal page with the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, above, has put ideas in my head of making cuff bracelets with words embroidered on hearts...words like love, compassion, forgiveness, grace, and brave.  I made a simple bracelet this weekend, but it's not finished.  It has the word "brave" embroidered on its heart.

I got back into the Wild Abondonment workshop a little.  The instructor was talking about how we can create so many things out of circles.  I thought about making a journal page with buttons into a heart shape and came up with this picture that's above.  Love does hold things together.  People who loved me and cared about me helped me through a tough time in my life.  In the end, things got better than they ever had been.  My love for God, my love for those involved in my life and those who gave me support, helped me make the right choices. 

This picture of the house is a mixed media painting I made for my dining room last week.  I've had a house fetish lately. I put little butterflies all over because it reminded me about the bushes we have in front of our house.  In September, usually there are purple that attract lots of butterflies.  My bushes are sad this year with the lack of rain.  I miss the butterflies.  There would be so many, that when I would walk up my driveway, there would be this cloud of butterflies.  It's so cool!  Hopefully the bushes will be happier next year.

So I started another workshop this week called She Had Three Hearts.  It's an art journaling workshop on the hearts we share.  I've been told several times I'm brave.  That is a part of me I didn't see, but I do understand now.  Brave is my new word that sticks out to me.

I hope you've been inspired or encouraged in some way with all my ramblings.  :)  That's all for now.  Thanks for stopping by!  

Identity

People in our lives are like mirrors that we often look in.  We look to those to see who we are and how we should be treated.  Some might get a big head from all the positive images we receive, but there are those out there that put imprints on us in a negative way.  Then we take on that identity binding us to something that isn’t true. 

I grew up to believe I needed to be perfect.  I believed that I had to perfect in everyway for people to accept me.  I believed I needed to be whatever others wanted/needed me to be. I use to believe that if I messed up, I would let God down.  That is all impossible!  I use to get depressed seeing at how imperfect I really am.   I couldn't stand myself, and often felt like I was too needy, or like I was a burden to others.  Living that way caused lots of pain…emotionally and physically. 

When I was approaching my 33^rd birthday, the effects of living that way started taking a toll on me physically.  I didn’t sleep much and when I did, I didn’t sleep well.  My body started to ache…a lot and most of the time.  I would get shooting pains in my arms and legs.  Sometimes I ached like I had the flu.  My muscles in my legs, arms and back would feel stiff.  The felt like they needed to be stretched.  Lots of tests were run to figure out what was wrong.  Housework was so painful to do, but I did the best I could.  Luckily my kids helped me out some.  One doctor had me do physical therapy to treat my pain.  While I was doing physical therapy, I was really struggling to sleep more than an hour or two a night.  My doctor gave me a pill used to treat Fibromyalgia, to help me sleep.  I couldn’t believe how much better I felt physically with that medicine.  I didn’t change what I believed about myself, which more issues arose.  There were struggles in my marriage, because I tried to live up to being a perfect wife.  There were so many consequences coming at me at once.  Over time, allowing others to dictate who I was, I lost my real self.  During that time, I had a friend ask me what I needed and I didn’t have a clue. 

 

Allowing others to dictate who I was, slowing lost who I really was inside.  It was a long, painful journey trying to undo all of that, but it was worth it all.  I won’t be sharing some things on this blog, because I don’t want to hurt others and I don’t want others to judge those I love.  I do take the blame too, because I chose to live that way.

My hope in all of this is to help others.  I want you to know how special you are…God sure thinks so, and He loves you dearly.  You are unique!  My hope is for those who struggle as I did, is that you will allow God to help you change all of that.  Take some time seeking God and who He says you are.  Allowing God to tell me who I am is so freeing and I never want to go back to who I thought I was!